Illustration by Angelo Robles
I'm Alone this February 14, and It's Okay
by Joshua Lipit
What better way to celebrate Hearts’ Day than being with someone you truly love? Just you with him or her, and your favorite big bars of chocolate. Flower petals covering the floor as a delightful scent of candles fills up the air. Restaurants are filled with tables only for two and flower shops suddenly become sold out. Love letters are everywhere and exchanging of I love yous is rampant. Everything is perfect and everyone is with somebody they love.
But, I’m alone this February 14 — and it’s okay!
For couples, this special day makes their relationship tenfold more romantic. The butterflies are as if they just met days ago. It makes them feel young, in love and everything in between. While for some, it can just feel annoying and like a waste of money–but hey, we see you.
Being single on Valentine’s day doesn’t have to be sad and lonely. I have been celebrating Feb 14 without a romantic partner, but never did I ever feel the need to have one. I have been alone on Valentines day, but never did I feel I was lonely. On a regular school calendar, February 14 would usually end up in the first few weeks of the third term. This can be a great opportunity to hangout with your blockmates. Besides, I have a family whom I’ll always be grateful for. Don’t let social media, flower shops and stores convince you that Valentines shouldn’t be celebrated alone.
Don’t fret, there are many others in the same situation as you. It may be because of their own choice or simply because of reasons that are out of their control. Don’t worry, every reason is fine and valid. What you can do is to manage feelings of loneliness on this day that involves shifting your focus and aiming to be happy with what you already have.
In fact, here are things you can do on this special day of love.
Love yourself more than usual.
Practice self-compassion. How many times have you genuinely loved yourself? If not even more than twice a week, maybe it’s time to spoil yourself. Even just this once. According to Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D., President & CEO of the Brain & Behavior, Self-love can start as something as small as:
- Talking to and about yourself with love
- Prioritizing yourself
- Giving yourself a break from self-judgement
- Trusting yourself
- Being true to yourself
- Being nice to yourself
- Setting healthy boundaries
- Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself
Practice self-love by being caring, thoughtful, kind and patient to yourself, the way you would treat someone whom you truly love.
Share the love you have.
You can start by planning a gala with friends. You and anyone else in the same situation might forget that you both are alone. It will help ease your loneliness. You can also opt for a movie night, or just be silly along with your friends. Take this special moment to reach out to someone whom you think might be feeling the same way. You never know who might also be feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. This is your chance to find new friends whom you can get to know more. If you get the chance, give them a hug as well.
That’s basically it. You can opt to do many other things, but we should all remember that this day should mean only two things. First, love yourself more than usual. Once you have accepted your beautiful self and you became nicer to yourself, then you’re ready to follow step 2, now it’s time to make someone else’s day. Give back that overflowing joy, love and peace that you have in your heart and share it to someone whom you truly love – may it be family, your best friends, or even a stranger you meet!
Go out with your friends this special day and enjoy the freedom you have. Avoid explaining to people how much annoyed you are this Valentine’s, because no one really wants to hear it. Avoid being bitter, let them enjoy themselves as much as you would wanna enjoy this day too. We’ll never know, maybe this year will be different. You might find someone who might make your heart skip a beat.
We shouldn’t be bitter but instead better by supporting our friends on their dates – let them enjoy, as you already are enjoying your waiting season.